Sunday, April 24, 2011

Ending a Beginning

Every step away from there I felt a pound or so lighter in my chest. My mind was racing, My hands were shaking, my legs and arms were sore, and assaulted. I knew where I needed to get to but the idea of getting there was confusing because of the intense fog in my mind. I felt crazy, literally, a feeling I had managed to dodge for a while. I had been having the anxiety and stress but I hadn't been waking in the middle of the night afraid that I was having, or would be having a heart attack soon. I breathed through it. I calmed whatever nerves were left, but I was scared. I was scared of love and loss and the loss of what I loved. I counted my steps 10 at a time. Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten...over and over. My gate was pigeon towed and timid but I was making progress. Ifound the bus terminal, I counted my fare and I waited. I waited, I knew it was no good checking the time because the idea of time was beyond my facilities at that...time

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