I had taken too much, or not enough, depending on how I looked at it. I crawled into the bathroom after a swirling moment of muscular dejection in my legs; to try and offer my body a reprieve from the battle happening inside of it. The violent vomiting seemed appropriate but did nothing to calm any of my distresses. My mind was swirled with defeat. Perverting memories inside of itself. I was villainizing my every decision. I was here, like this, alone, because I deserved it. My mind was the enemy and it was winning.