Monday, February 18, 2008
marshmellow fluff
...The idea of being needed and important had been a flippant and fleeting one throughout my short life. After he didn't care, as much, or, as he would like me to believe, could not display because of extramural circumstances. I was left to lead a corybantic search for it in someone else. For your own reference, that never works out, well. Those available to respond in your quest can smell the rank of desperation that you are marinated in. The ones likely to push to the front of the line are not the ones capable or willing to fill the void you seek to stuff.
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This is what I hate about being single again (at least I've stopped saying 'abandoned' - I guess that's progress). And before I pick at it, I'm going to say I do the exact same.
You call out an achieved and then an ascribed situation. Of course the former is preferable. It is you who are immanent, forging your path. You maintain control over judgments and concessions - your value system serves as the rosetta stone. The latter...well, you are engaging how you respond. From the get go, it's a petition.
Oh, I don't know. I think I just responded because I had to look up a word.
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